Lately, I’ve been observing a lot how deep down false self-perceptions are imprinted within us.
How often our thoughts about ourselves differ greatly from who we truly are.
And then what we FEEL about ourselves is already connected NOT to WHO I really am but rather to what I’m USED to thinking about myself.
How to change this situation?
The first step is to shift the focus from NOT FITTING-IN to OBSERVING WHAT I FEEL.
🤨
I played this game too. The game of fitting-in.
What shapes our self-perception and the image we aspire to embody?
Is it the way our parents addressed us, whether with praise or criticism? The grades we achieved in school and the reasons behind them? The sweets or approving nods from grown-ups, affirming or not our adequacy, and propelling us in the “correct direction”, or prompting if and why we are out of the league?
My ability to work and relax hard, demonstrating proficiency in acquiring the symbols that many strive for but only a few attain?
Very often, the markers of inner truth get blurred by the demands of popularity in what I display. In such a way we focus on whether I have earned “love” and positive regard, whether I am pleasing others enough.
Thus, the depth of feelings gets buried under the sugar/salt of approval and recognition or misunderstanding and rejection from others.
What determines our self-perception?
What we see in the mirror or the impressions others hold of us, each person encapsulating their own perceptions?
How much have I achieved in the rush of accomplishing it all? How much attention have I managed to gather?
How deftly have I sidestepped pain, safeguarded security, and contributed to the happiness of others?
How illusory it all can turn out to be later.
What do others say about me or even silently think? What do women think? Or what do men think?
People engage in this intricate dance, each with their unique tempo and intensity. Often, they continue until a personal or external crisis disrupts the familiar game, or until one becomes fed up with attempts to conform.
But what do we truly know about ourselves? Know from within.
To do that, we need to shift our focus to a different plane – allow ourselves to FIRST feel what I feel, right in this moment. Reestablishing a connection with our bodies.
Through the entire spectrum of what we experience, we can gain our unique perspective. Knowing yourself comes with living yourself. Observing what I feel, think and do.
And if you find that you’re not fitting-in again, frequently not meeting the expectations of your own mind, it’s a good sign. That’s your uniqueness potential winking at you. 😉
